Is Monogamy Really Natural for Gay Men?

This is a photo from the film 'Eating Out 5: The Open Weekend'.
Ariztical Entertainment

Are men natural born monogamists?

I love being a gay man. It allows me to have perspectives on the human condition that straight people may not be able to tap into. It also allows me to understand the way a man’s behavior is supposed to be – gay, straight, or otherwise. We’re built for sex. Our bodies require us to have some type of release in order to feel grounded and sane inside our heads. Monogamy, it seems, was created by society rather than nature. Could it be argued that humans actually weren’t meant to be monogamous after all?

As much as I’d like to daydream about the idea, I know for a fact that I’m a man who requires monogamy. It might be the Latin blood flowing through my veins that keep me from seeing anything else (my people get super jealous from time to time), but the argument still exists.

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According to LiveScience, only 3 – 5 percent of the roughly 5,000 species of mammals (including humans) are known to form lifelong monogamous bonds – beavers, wolves and some bats are among them. But what are the benefits? Why do humans put so much weight on the idea behind commitment? Some psychologists suggest it may have been created for the wellbeing of our offspring. But the system in which we go about it is vastly different from other animals roaming the earth.

For example, in humans, the father is pressured to take on a bigger role than most other primates not because his brain tells him so, but the community tells him he has to. The instinct to have sex with other people is still there. Many of us are continuously trying to fight away the urge; but those who succeed are considered “committed” while those who don’t are thought to be cheaters and dogs. At least that’s how the idea is constructed. Thanks to thousands of years of experience, humans learned that staying together makes our communities strong enough to withstand the threats of extinction.

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