9 Nice-Guy Habits Preventing You From Finding Love

This is a photo of a young couple on the beach.
Gili Benita

It’s hard out there for nice guys. We’re desperately searching for something we can’t find and are usually left in the dust. But what can we do to fix it?

Personally, I’ve learned the hard way. Love is something that cannot be shared lightly. As nice guys, our hearts are on display 24-hours a day, but the truth of the matter is the more free samples we give, the less we have for ourselves. Here are nine things you should stop doing, before it’s too late:

1. Playing homemaker too soon

When we like a guy, we instantly start daydreaming. It’s fabulous. In our dreams, we’re the husbands with the kids, the house and all that comes with it. Usually, people who think this way end up focusing on creating the “image” rather than building a successful partnership. The last thing you want is to be Mr. Homemaker too soon. Trust me — you gotta batter, cook, then cool it, before you eat the cake.

2. Coming on too strong

Nice guys have a lot of feelings because we wear our hearts on our sleeves. We can’t help ourselves. When we [think we] love someone, we have to let them know. We spurt it out because we’re impulsive creatures. We need to shout from the rooftops. An emotion like love cannot be held in very long.

The trouble with this is that we’re setting the bar too high. If we instantly jump that far, we have nowhere to journey towards. It’s like belting a high money note at the beginning of a song. Why not tease us a little before going full throttle? Let the emotions settle a bit, that way you have room to grow.

3. Being too available

You need to let him work a little bit. Men are hunters. Imagine if our prey came directly to us, laid down and said, “Ok. I’m ready. Eat me.” What’s the fun in that? Allowing a man to hunt you actually increases his loyalty, because it makes him believe that you’re worth the pay off. He earned your love.

Related: 25 Relationship Goals Every Gay Couple Should Strive For

Do not be a “yes” man. It’s important to be there for him emotionally and physically, of course, but you should never let him think you are on call 24/7. Don’t be too easy to snatch. You have to let him chase you a little.

4. Over-complimenting

We want our crush to know what we think of him: “You’re such a nice guy,” “Your hair is so nice,” “You have such a nice smile,” “I can’t stop thinking about your laugh.” Don’t get me wrong, every man loves to be flattered, but over-complimenting is a major sign of insecurity.

Related: 12 Qualities You Should Look for in a Man

Be proud that you have him now. Complimenting him every five seconds isn’t going to guarantee his loyalty, nor will it increase his love for you. Tell him he’s beautiful, but don’t make him feel like you’re a teenage fan.

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