8 Things You Should Never Do During Bum Fun

This is a photo of Freddy Krave on a bed.
Freddy Krave

Taking it is something most gay men learn and adjust to.  No one is born with the knowledge of how to be a great bottom. It’s wisdom we learn through trial and error, but for God’s sake … let’s all learn from our mistakes.

There are things no one should ever do while catching. It’s universal. It’s for everyone. No one is an exception to these rules, except if you’re Liam Hemsworth — in which case, he can do whatever the hell he wants. Gay guys, take note of these common mistakes so we can never make them again:

1. When in doubt, pull it out

We’re humans, not fleshlights. When you’re not sure how your insides are acting, pull that sh*t out! Do not be afraid to say you aren’t ready to bottom tonight. Trust me, the last thing you want to do is make a mess all over your sheets (and in front of a really hot top).

Sh*t happens! It comes with the territory, which is why you need to prepare beforehand; otherwise, you will be embarrassed to show your face ever again (we’ve all been there). When in doubt, pull it out!

2. Never half-ass preparation

You might have the best diet known to mankind, it doesn’t matter. No bottom should ever, EVER, rely only on soap, water and an index finger. You need to commit 100 percent to preparation, otherwise you will never be fully comfortable with your shituation.

Related: 10 BJ Techniques You Should Try

Invest in a douche (you can find them anywhere). There’s no excuse not to spend an extra ten minutes in the bathroom before going out or inviting a man over. After cleaning out properly, take a good shower with anti-bacterial soap. Get it squeaky clean. When you feel empty, you will be able to commit a lot more!

3. Changing your position to ease the pain

When you’re in pain, you’re still going to be in pain no matter what position you switch to — it will just be a different kind of pain. Trust me, take care of the pain first before you switch positions. And while we’re talking about positions, never let your man dictate it 100 percent of the time.

I’ve f*cked guys who expected me to be Rubber Man. I’m not Gumby and neither are you! If you aren’t getting any kind of pleasure from it, do not be afraid to speak up. It’s not all about him — you are not a blowup doll. Fix your pain by readjusting his member and taking a breather. Then, continue onward and inward ….

4. Reaching for numbing gels

The problem with numbing gels is that it doesn’t tell you when you’re in pain! That’s bad. He could be plowing you like a jackhammer — not only will you miss the pleasure (because you’ll be numb), but you’ll also miss any cuts he could be making, or making worse.

Having cuts in our hole is not pretty. It makes you more susceptible to STDs because it’s easier access into our bloodstream. Try breathing exercises to relax your sphincter, not numbing gels. Some guys use poppers, too, but unfortunately, they have the same affect as numbing gels — they make you forget about the pain. Anything that makes you do that is a no no.

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