Teeny Chirichillo, a star from the hit CBS reality series Survivor, has officially come out as a transgender man. In an emotional and deeply personal essay published in Cosmopolitan on Wednesday, April 9, 2025, Chirichillo opened up about his gender identity, how his Survivor experience shaped his path, and the ongoing journey toward embracing himself fully.
Chirichillo, who became widely recognized during Survivor: Season 47, initially found himself labeled as nonbinary by viewers and media outlets when the first promos for the season were released. Despite feeling uncertain about the label, Chirichillo said he played along. In his essay, he explains how this public designation left him grappling with his identity and the expectations of others.
“Throughout all of this sudden visibility, a large part of me has wanted to be palatable to everyone, maybe to counteract my polarizing character on the show,” Chirichillo wrote. “Brushing off the pronoun question with a ‘whatever you want’ makes the moment pass quicker. Increasingly, people decide to use ‘they,’ as my presentation fits that of a Gen Z nonbinary person in an almost comically on-the-nose way. My haircut, my curated vintage fashion, my flat chest.”
He continued, revealing his feelings about being constantly labeled by others rather than being able to share his story on his own terms. “The pronoun question, I’ve come to learn, isn’t always intended to be a catalyst into an in-the-weeds conversation about gender. It’s to make sure that whatever word they say next doesn’t offend me,” Chirichillo explained. “And so answering with a ‘whatever’ feels easier than derailing our conversation into the personalized gender studies curriculum that cycles through my head almost constantly.”
Teeny Chirichillo. Photo: Robert Voets/CBS
A Journey to Self-Awareness
Chirichillo’s decision to publicly embrace his identity came after significant introspection. As the Survivor filming concluded, Chirichillo found himself without distractions like a spouse or a full-time career. He spent this time reflecting on his gender and the course of his life, eventually coming to terms with who he truly was.
“When I think about my future, there’s a lot of blurriness,” he wrote. “But there’s a lifelong accumulation of artifacts that has pulled my identity into focus, inside the museum of my own transness. The growing stack of trans memoirs on my nightstand, the packers hidden in a shoebox, the late high school nights of Miles McKenna YouTube videos.”
Chirichillo noted his childhood experiences, from his attempts to write stories from a male perspective on Wattpad to learning about masculinity through his interactions with others. “The tboys in my phone teaching me how to crop my shirts for a more masculine fit, the pursuit of HRT [hormone replacement therapy] before the government makes it impossible to get, the way my girlfriend affirms me as a man in every sense I could have ever dreamed of,” he wrote.
Reflecting on his life up to that point, Chirichillo admitted that he had always known who he truly was. He just hadn’t been ready to fully admit it to himself. “I have lived this double life, where my inner world is at peace and aware of how I want to grow older and my outer world remains in this label limbo brought upon by me,” Chirichillo shared. “My noncommitment to a label like nonbinary and my lack of attachment to the policing of my own pronouns is because until right now, I had been a closeted trans guy.”
The Struggles of Coming Out
While Chirichillo feels a profound sense of relief in embracing his true self, the process of coming out publicly is not without its challenges. In his Cosmopolitan essay, he shared his concerns about how coming out will affect his relationships with friends and family, as well as the potential societal reactions.
“I’m thinking about having to come out in loud bars and on the first days of new jobs,” he admitted. “I’m thinking about my grandma reading this and her wondering if it means I’ll have a mustache next Christmas. I’m thinking about the flinches on my friends’ faces after they slip up and say ‘she.’ I’m thinking about how my mom and dad won’t be able to call me their daughter without the air in the room turning cold. I’m thinking about how my queer girlfriend is going to navigate talking about me as her boyfriend.”
Chirichillo also expressed anxiety about the cost of transitioning, particularly the financial burden of testosterone treatments, and the challenges of adapting to his new identity in everyday life. “I’m thinking about whether passing as a cis man is even something I want,” he confessed. “I’m thinking about all the trans people who have been brave enough to live in their authenticity through the horrors of our past and current political state and how much I admire and thank them for paving the way for me.”
Living Authentically
Despite the uncertainties and challenges that lie ahead, Chirichillo is hopeful about the future. He feels a deep sense of peace now that he is able to live authentically for the first time in his life.
“I don’t expect everyone to reach the same level of ease with my gender that I’ve arrived at after a lifetime of suppressing and then exploring the boyhood in my soul,” Chirichillo wrote. “But I know who I am. Now begins the process of bridging the gap between my private and public identities, of surrendering myself to the fact that trying to please everyone as this moldable gender putty isn’t pleasing me. And it’s not what anyone is asking of me.”
Chirichillo ended his essay with a heartfelt note of self-acceptance. “As I adjust to life on the flip side of living one childhood dream, what I really want is to give the Teeny who wore all Tony Hawk line boy clothes to elementary school a fist bump and tell him that we’re back.”
Through his journey of self-discovery, Chirichillo has become a beacon of authenticity for others in the LGBTQ+ community, showing that, while the path may be difficult, embracing who you truly are is always worth it.
