Matt Bomer has opened up about his early experiences in the entertainment industry, revealing how the media’s treatment of him during the early stages of his career felt “unfair.” In a candid interview on the Dinner’s on Me podcast with Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Bomer reflected on the pressure he faced when his personal life became fodder for gossip columns before he had a chance to share his own story on his own terms.
Bomer, now 46, recalled how the media, particularly celebrity gossip outlets like Perez Hilton, took control of his narrative in ways he had no say in. “Folks could kind of take over your own personal narrative before you even had a chance to,” he explained. “Outlets like Perez Hilton were so quick to talk about my personal life before I had ever had a chance to even do it myself. And it wasn’t because I didn’t want to; I didn’t even have an opportunity to.”
The actor, who publicly came out as gay during a 2012 awards speech, explained that by that time, rumors about his sexuality had already circulated widely in the media. He recalled how outlets were keen to fuel speculation but unwilling to give him a platform to speak out. “No media outlet was ever going like, ‘Hey!’” he added, suggesting that while the rumors about him made headlines, his voice was seldom heard in the conversation. “I just didn’t have a career that warranted that,” he continued. “It felt kind of unfair to me, that that was stolen by people who did have a microphone at the time.”
Bomer’s decision to publicly come out in 2012 was a moment of personal empowerment. He used his platform to introduce his husband, publicist Simon Halls, and their three children as his “proudest accomplishment.” Yet, long before he publicly acknowledged his sexuality, Bomer had already been a target for gossip, particularly in the tabloid culture that thrived in the late 2000s and early 2010s.
One significant personal story Bomer shared was how he was told that being outed prematurely cost him a role in the 2013 film Superman: Man of Steel, which was directed by Brett Ratner. Although Bomer was not cast as Superman, the role eventually went to Henry Cavill, Bomer’s career continued to rise in other directions.
Struggles with Hollywood’s Image of Masculinity
While Bomer’s career began to flourish in the early 2010s, thanks to a standout role in the USA Network series White Collar and a high-profile appearance in the Magic Mike film franchise, he quickly found himself being pigeonholed into roles that aligned with traditional ideas of masculinity. “I didn’t have anything to fall back on,” he said of his early career. Despite this, Bomer noted that his strong family support provided him with a sense of security. “What I had was a loving family,” he explained. “That was my safety net. And I was like, you know what? If the worst that happens is that I don’t work again and I have this beautiful family who I love and who loves me, then so be it.”
Bomer’s rise in Hollywood was not without its challenges. The industry’s reluctance to embrace openly gay actors for leading roles in mainstream films meant Bomer faced significant obstacles in his early years. However, in the years following his decision to come out, Bomer began to receive more recognition for his talent, finding new opportunities to break away from traditional roles and explore more complex characters.
A Changing Landscape in Hollywood
Over the years, Bomer’s career trajectory has included diverse roles that allow him to explore both his acting and his identity as a queer man. One of his notable projects in recent years has been Fellow Travelers, a historical drama series set against the backdrop of 1950s politics. The series delves into the emotional toll that living in the closet takes on LGBTQ individuals, particularly in a time when homosexuality was often criminalized or vilified.
Speaking about his character, Hawk, in Fellow Travelers, Bomer noted that the role offered him an opportunity to explore a character with a public persona he had to maintain while secretly embracing a more rebellious side. “Hawk does have a public persona that he needs to survive and maneuver in the world that he’s in, but underneath it all is a real ‘f— you,’” Bomer said in a 2023 interview with Entertainment Weekly. He described the opportunity to portray this complex character as “refreshing,” adding that it felt equally important to depict authentic and honest portrayals of gay intimacy in a way that was “unflinching.”
In his portrayal of Hawk, Bomer is able to tap into the nuances of being a gay man in a time of societal pressure, offering a glimpse into the internal conflicts many LGBTQ individuals experience as they navigate a world that often demands conformity. Fellow Travelers has allowed Bomer to bring to life an aspect of queer experience that has often been glossed over in mainstream media.
A Reflective Bomer Looks Back
Looking back on his journey, Bomer reflected on the ways in which Hollywood has shifted its approach to LGBTQ+ representation, though challenges remain. The increasing number of openly queer actors in mainstream film and television is a step forward, but as Bomer himself points out, the industry is still far from perfect.
“I just wanted to be honest about who I was,” Bomer said during his conversation with Ferguson. He admitted that while his sexuality had been speculated about, he never intended to hide it. His 2012 speech was an act of reclaiming his narrative, a declaration that he was in control of how he presented his identity.
As for the media’s treatment of him, Bomer seems to have found peace in his own journey. While he still feels the weight of how the media tried to control his narrative early on, he’s now in a place where he can reflect with clarity and gratitude for the family that has supported him and the career that continues to evolve.
Bomer’s experience highlights not only the challenges LGBTQ+ actors face in the entertainment industry but also the resilience required to overcome those barriers. Today, Bomer continues to use his platform to advocate for queer representation and to ensure that the next generation of LGBTQ+ performers won’t have to face the same struggles he did.
His reflections, shared on the Dinner’s on Me podcast, offer a candid and introspective look at the changing landscape of Hollywood and the importance of owning one’s own narrative in an industry still working toward full acceptance of LGBTQ+ talent.
