It’s easy for us to search for love in all the wrong places. Finding a partner means obtaining compatibility through compromise. You have to think long-term: family, marriage, security. None of these are required when seeking a friend, which is why the strategies should never collide.
Related: 5 Qualities You Should Look for in a Boyfriend
No one should date a man because he has the qualities you look for in a friend — a great shopping buddy, gym partner, fellow fan club member. If you want a successful relationship, you need to date a man because he has the qualities you look for in a PARTNER. They don’t need to like the same things you do 100 percent of the time, but if they have your back and have similar long-term goals, chances are it will last a long time.
In the grand scheme of things, boyfriends are friends on parallel planes. A boyfriend knows us more than our friends ever will, but our friends might also know secrets we choose to keep from our man. They’re different experiences entirely but live on the same emotional frequency.
We’re always going to run into trouble if we expect our lovers to take on a “best friend” role, and vice versa. If you want a friend, find a friend. If you want a lover, it’s time to open yourself a bit more. They require different types of approaches. That’s a fact.
If I treated my boyfriends like friends, there would be no reason for it to last.
Boyfriends = long term.
Friends = short term.
That’s the bottom line. Consider this the next time you put yourself on the market in the gay dating scene. Trust me. You’ll have a much better success rate. You’re welcome!
David Artavia is an actor and writer from New York City. He loves living vicariously through his friends. Follow him on Twitter and Like his Facebook page.
