Why Many Gay Men Are Terrified of Love

This is a photo from HTGAWM.

We’re scared to love ourselves.

The truth is we have a hard time loving ourselves; it’s like our brains won’t allow it. We think, “If I can’t love myself then no one will.” And no one can unless we allow our self love to shine. But it’s easier said than done.

Looking back on my life, I realized the reason I felt so lost was because I thought I was alone. But, you’re never truly alone. I thought I was the only guy on the planet who’s experienced with heartache, loneliness and utter confusion about my identity. Believe me, it’s a feeling everyone who’s lived experiences. While most people try and ignore the emotional pain, you need to uncover and fight it.

Instead of labeling these feelings as “negative”, “toxic” or “stupid,” call it part of the human experience and move on. Imagine how much progress we could make if we simply call it “human” and push forward.

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Think about what happens when we touch something too hot? Pain. Pain is the body’s way of telling us that something isn’t right. It sends us messages through pain. Emotional pain has the same rules. When our spirits are down, our hearts are trying to send a message. We must investigate it so we can fix the problem; not throw it away because we’re scared to feel.

Our culture tricks us into thinking we can’t allow ourselves to be sad, confused or lost from time to time. We have to “change our frequency” and come back to the light. I say, forget all that crap. When you’re feeling lost, your spirit could tell help you find your way. Talk to it, nurture it, and let it heal — never ignore your psyche. Why? Because it’s an interpreter that will help you understand love and navigate through life.

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Love talks to you through your intuition. To hear it clearly, you need to learn the language. Being scared of love means we’re scared of ourselves, because underneath it all, who we are shapes how we love. To fear love is to fear your nature.

David Artavia is an actor and writer from New York City. He loves living vicariously through his friends. Follow him on Twitter and Like his Facebook page

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