Read This if You Forgot How to Love

Gay couple in love.

Have you ever felt like you’ve lost your ability to love? If so, you’re not alone. Unfortunately, in the gay community, many guys seek solace in artificial affection, often instigated by physical attraction and instant gratification — we love to be lusted after.

But why is this affection short lived? In an era when short-term interactions are exceedingly common, thanks to social media, many men don’t stick around long enough to learn how to love, and it takes time to internalize such intimate emotion.

Related: Why Staying in Love With Your Ex Is a Bad Idea

By reflecting on relationships that have resulted in real love, we can restore a sense of understanding our emotional capacity to see and show love. To love takes little effort; to be loved is to surrender totally — a scary thought for most men. Is the risk of letting go worth the reward?

Self-preservation often prevents us from finding and keeping love. We reduce relationships to satisfy us sexually, a quick means of emotional escape. When sharing ourselves in this way, we protect ourselves from potential heartache — so how do we learn to love again? It’s important to take inventory of your ability to trust.


While many worry about their capacity to trust another individual, it is essential that you trust yourself and your ability to feel. When feelings form, we can overly critique their presence — picking apart each and every emotion associated with love. Love is not logical, but our hearts have a way of helping us regulate where and when to accept or offer such a personal level of affection.

Related: Why a Perfect Body Won’t Help You Find Love

The more we acknowledge our ability to love, the more authentically we will be able to introduce it within our intimate relationships. If you feel you’ve forgotten how to love, be fearless, it’s the only way to let love in.

David Artavia is an actor and writer from New York City. He loves living vicariously through his friends. Follow him on Twitter and Like his Facebook page

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