Susan Feniger, the celebrated chef, restaurateur and LGBTQ+ advocate, has spent more than four decades shaping the Los Angeles culinary scene. As the co-chef and co-owner of popular restaurants such as Border Grill, Socalo, Alice B., and BBQ Mexicana, Feniger has left a lasting legacy not only through her innovative flavors but through her steadfast dedication to community, inclusivity, and authenticity.
In a recent conversation with Gayety, Feniger opened up about her journey—from quietly coming out while working in kitchens, to becoming a visible role model for young queer chefs, to her work empowering LGBTQ+ youth through the Los Angeles LGBT Center’s Culinary Arts Program.
A Culinary Journey Sparked by Passion
Feniger didn’t always envision a career in food. While majoring in economics in college, she found herself working long shifts in the dishroom and kitchen, when one of her supervisors made an offhand comment that would change the course of her life.
“My boss said to me, ‘Why are you studying economics? You should become a chef,’” she recalled. That suggestion ignited something in her. She convinced her economics professor to let her complete her final year as an independent study at the Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, New York. “I never looked back.”
Chefs Susan Feniger, Wendy Escobedo, Josh Scherer, and Mary Sue Milliken attend LA Wildfire Relief LIVE, produced by WCPG, Tiltify, Justin Tracey and CMPS, at Rosewood Residences Beverly Hills on January 24, 2025 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images)
Navigating Identity in a Public Career
Coming out as a queer woman didn’t initially intersect with Feniger’s culinary career. However, she remembers a moment early in her public life where she felt she had to hide who she was.
“When Mary Sue [Milliken] and I were starting out in television, we were interviewed by TV Guide,” she said. “I realized I was hiding who my partner was. Mary Sue would talk about Josh, but I wouldn’t say anything. That’s when I realized I was nervous about being out in the public eye.”
In her everyday life, however, Feniger was always open. And as her confidence grew, she committed to being visible—not for personal gain, but for the next generation. “It would have meant so much to younger me to see someone like me leading a kitchen and living authentically.”
Building Inclusive Kitchens and Culture
Over her career, Feniger has used her platform to create safe, inclusive spaces. She and Milliken have long led their teams with values rooted in collaboration, diversity and mentorship.
“I think what I’m most proud of is the culture we’ve created,” Feniger said. “From Border Grill to Socalo, our kitchens have always welcomed everyone—long before inclusivity was considered ‘trendy.’”
Their impact extends far beyond their restaurants. Feniger has mentored countless individuals—many of them women, immigrants and LGBTQ+ people—who have gone on to thrive in the hospitality industry. “It’s about making people feel seen and giving back to the community that supports us.”
A Unique Personal Partnership
Feniger and Milliken’s relationship has become a legendary story of friendship, business acumen, and mutual respect. One of the more colorful aspects? Milliken is married to Feniger’s ex-husband.
“Mary Sue always jokes and credits therapy,” Feniger laughed. “But honestly, I set them up! She was dating some weirdos, and I thought she should meet my ex. They fell in love instantly.”
Despite the unconventional family dynamic, their partnership remains rock-solid. “We’ve been business partners for 44 years—that’s longer than most marriages. Life is messy, but we navigate it with humor and heart.”
Advocating Through Food
As a board member and co-chair of the Los Angeles LGBT Center’s Culinary Arts Program, Feniger plays an active role in providing support and career training to LGBTQ+ youth and seniors.
“The Center is so close to my heart,” she said. “Watching young people who’ve been rejected by their families step into the kitchen, gain skills, and feel a sense of belonging—that’s what it’s all about.”
The program not only teaches culinary techniques but also builds confidence. “So many queer youth are told they don’t belong. Programs like this say: You do belong. You have a place at the table.”
Feeding Hope During Crisis
Feniger and Milliken’s commitment to service also extends to disaster relief. During the LA wildfires, they worked alongside World Central Kitchen and were joined on the ground by Prince Harry, Meghan Markle, and actress Jennifer Garner to serve meals to evacuees and first responders.
“Being there, feeding people who had lost everything—it was humbling,” she said. “Food isn’t just nourishment. In times of crisis, it’s comfort. It says, ‘You’re not alone.’ That’s the power of a hot meal.”
Pride and the Fight Ahead
As Pride Month approaches, Feniger emphasized that visibility remains vital. “Pride is about standing up, using our voices, and being proud of who we are,” she said. “It’s not just about celebration anymore—it’s also about resistance.”
Her restaurants will mark the occasion with special events and initiatives supporting LGBTQ+ nonprofits. “We do Pride brunches, themed cocktails, and highlight queer purveyors and artists,” she said. “Pride is a chance to lift each other up and push back against those trying to silence us.”
Advice to the Next Generation
For young LGBTQ+ chefs and entrepreneurs, Feniger offers this advice: “Follow your heart. Do what you love with passion. I never once checked the clock on a shift. I loved the work. That’s how you know it’s the right path.”
In a career filled with accolades, television appearances, and culinary innovation, Susan Feniger’s greatest legacy may well be the lives she’s touched—with food, with compassion, and with her commitment to living authentically.
