5. Put your phone away
Here’s the thing about phones. When we see you on it, we think you’re bored with us, which closes us off and makes us resent you. Also, we might see your Grindr, which will make us think differently about you.
I’m not against Grindr at all. Most gay guys have dabbled with it, but when you’re on a date, it’s always best to keep an illusion of fantasy. We don’t want to know you have Grindr (even though you probably do). So it’s best to put the phone away altogether. If we catch a glimpse of it, we’ll assume you’re not looking for anything serious, and that the second you get home you’ll be hooking up with a stranger. Play to our imagination. Make us think you’re better than that.
6. Mimic his mannerisms
Humans are more likely to be attracted to people who imitate their mannerisms, according to studies. Weird right? It turns out; it’s a subconscious sign of affection that shows how much we like a person. He will always respond well.
Look into his eyes when he looks into yours, notice how his legs are crossed, how he touches, when he laughs, when he’s drinking. You don’t need to copy his every move, but mirroring him a little subliminally pulls him in. Try it out.
7. Sugar is sexy
Purdue University recently discovered that men often have intimate thoughts after eating sugar. In the study, they gave participants both sugar solution and water—turns out, the people who drank sugar were more open to sexual stimulation.
In other words, never skip dessert! Always leave a little room to split a cake or chocolate mouse, or anything with sugar. The sugar will get the blood flow going, which undoubtedly goes straight to the groin.
8. Do something physically active
Whether it’s a long walk together, a hike, or taking your time walking to the car, be sure to do it together. Research shows that physical activity on a date raises adrenaline, which increases attraction and appeal to the nearest body—be that body!
If you’re near the water, why not suggest a friendly stroll on the boardwalk or sand? Walking together is a beautiful thing, especially when you’re holding hands. Skin-to-skin contact releases hormones that make us feel happy and connected. While the adrenaline and heart rate rise together, you will both be inclined to combine forces.
9. It’s all in the touch
Not all contact is created equal. There are multiple ways we can touch a man, but many of us never embrace learning the differences. A hug isn’t going to cut it in the long run. A study from the journal Social Influence breaks it down into three: “Friendly,” “Plausible Deniability” and “Nuclear.”
Friendly touches are shoulder pushes, taps, and handshakes. Plausible Deniability touches are around the waist or forearm. Nuclear touches are actual signs of attraction, which are touches on the face and neck specifically. Understand the difference between all three types of contact, and you’ll be golden.
You don’t need to go Nuclear the first five seconds. Let it grow. Perhaps once you get to know each other, you can start to touch his leg. Maybe you can pull away the “thread” you saw hanging near his collar: “Oh, wait to hold on. You got something — there, got it.” [cue: eye contact.] … works every time.