7. Non-conformity
Being exactly like everyone else is never a quality gay guys want, yet most of us think we do. Gay guys especially have been trained to not rock the boat. When I was in high school, being out and proud wasn’t an option. So to conform meant to “belong.” This way of thinking sticks with us way into adulthood.
But things are different now. We no longer need to hide from the world. We can be ourselves without shame, but for many of us it’s too late because we missed those years of figuring it out. Trust me, it’s never too late to know thyself. You don’t need to talk, walk, think, or look like everyone else. Don’t fit in. You were born to stand out.
8. Straight-forwardness
Too many guys walk on eggshells because they’re afraid they’re going to say something stupid, but the truth of the matter is the more we filter ourselves, the dumber we look. It’s about being free, not giving any f*cks — that’s sexy. Of course you need to be considerate and kind (that’s a given), but in no way shape or form should anyone beat around the bush if it’s wasting too much time.
Related: 10 Signs Your Boyfriend Is a Jerk
10. Genuineness
Being genuine about everything is hard to achieve because we train ourselves as a society to exaggerate in order to be liked. But in this digital age, people don’t want pretend. We want genuineness. Whatever we do, we must be genuine. By that I mean really mean what we say when we say it, be sincere when we give compliments (if not, don’t say it at all). Genuineness goes a long way because we’re all able to spot a phony.
11. Loyalty
If you’re always late, flaking out, or never being true to your word, the only guys who will trust you are ones that want something from you — why else would they keep you around? Those confident enough to recognize a disloyal person from a loyal one will undoubtedly throw you away.
Loyalty is the best quality to have as a person because it’s what we as humans depend on — it’s how we’ve managed to survive all this time: by trusting that we’ll be here for each other. It’s a basic instinct we’ve learned to use in order to survive. Believe me, you want to be the guy people can depend on — but it starts with your track record.
12. Openmindness
We are all a little stubborn, but smart people try everything once — and I mean everything, then they become stubborn about it later on. Being closed-minded off the bat for no reason is a major turn off for most guys, especially ones you’ve just met.
Whether it’s related to sex, topics, dates or food, at least try to be open for experimentation. This sends a message that not only are you fun and down for most anything, but that you’re also a person who evolves—you’re not going to be the same person ten years from now that you are today. The whole point of life is to progress, and being open to experimentation is the main ingredient you need to achieve it.
David Artavia is an actor and writer from New York City. He loves living vicariously through his friends. Follow him on Twitter and Like his Facebook page.
