It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to explain how to sext, but sometimes we all need a friendly reminder — I’m here to do just that.
Sexting is like a gentle whisper. You know those moments your man whispers something hot in your ear? The warm sharpness of his breath tingles all the way down your neck directly to the naughty place, and all you want is to grab him by the balls and lead him to a back room. That’s how sexting should feel.
Let’s start with the obvious.
1. Visuals are crucial
Don’t be an idiot. This is 2016 after all, and who the hell knows where these pictures may go once you hit send, which is why no matter how amazing you think your man is, do NOT under any circumstances allow your face to be in them — if it is, don’t reveal any other body part.
Men are visual, which means we respond to what we see almost impulsively. We leap before we think. But when sending a sexy picture, the last thing you want to do is reveal the whole enchilada — think Cinemax rather than PornHub.
The thing is when you show everything all at once, it doesn’t become sexy anymore. It becomes a display — does that make sense? You’re a wall poster. A naked body is a naked body, but you want them to be on the edge of themselves without going all the way. It’s called “build up.”
2. Talk about what you’re going to do
A man gets a different reading about your feelings than he does reading about what you want to do to him. Instead of saying “I’m so hard right now” (which is fine, but you can make a stronger choice), say something like “I want to do [blah blah] to you” or “I’m going work slowly around your [blah]…”
Play to his body, not yours — at least while texting. Make him feel what you’re saying by making it sensual and associating it with physical sensations, i.e. wetness, warmth, goosebumps, soft, hard, etc. These are all feelings we can imagine happening to us, which gets us going.
3. No emojis
Smiley faces and emojis are kinda weird when you’re trying to be sexy. I had an ex who thought being “cute” was sexy. He’d suddenly turn into an SNL character and wiggle his way into my arms like a puppy — I figured he was adorable, but that didn’t make me want him, like, want him. You know?
Men respond to things that hit their vulnerable side. They need to be lured, not treated like a baby. Emojis are literally for every other conversation except sex talk. Leave it completely out and be straight forward without trying to be cute.