10. Leave your phone in your locker
Stay off your phone. Not only will this make you more present and attentive (and make you aware if someone is cruising you), but it will also keep you from sitting and texting on a machine that someone is waiting to use (see “gym jerk” above).
11. Be friendly
If he talks to you, engage with him authentically. Tell him your name. Ask him about a lift you saw him doing, even if you know how to do it already. Guys love talking about their “unique” lift, what muscle groups it works, and how their “trainer friend” taught them how to do it. Everyone has a gym story they like to tell. I certainly do.
Be charming. Don’t call him “bro.” Do not immediately ask to suck his dick. Remember that some guys aren’t cruising, they’re just friendly.
12. Get in the zone
If you’re working out hard, you’ll look good without trying to. It’s attractive to see someone working out hard. I get the most attention when I’m pumped, and frustratingly it’s also when I’m the least aware of my surroundings. It’s probably a good thing: I’m relaxed, I’m not performing, and that natural, unaided “me” is what people seem to like. Remember that you’re still working out. Don’t let cruising swallow your gym time. Interested guys will see and respect that you’re taking your time there seriously.
13. Pay attention
If he offers you a nod before heading into the locker room, cut your workout short. Sometimes, we have to sacrifice the last few minutes of our routine to shower across from the man of our dreams — or a stranger with a nice ass.
14. Roam the locker room in the buff
There are few places where it’s socially acceptable and legal for men to walk around uncovered in front of other guys. One of them is your local bathhouse. The other is the public locker room at the gym. Walk to and from the showers bare and swing thing for all to enjoy.
15. Be wary of saunas and steam rooms
I know more stories of guys getting caught in saunas and steam rooms than I do of success stories. Typically, saunas and steam rooms only have one door. If you’re rocking a rager in the shower, you can quickly close the curtain if the gym staff is nearby. In the steam room? Not a chance.
16. Crack the curtain
Shower with both ends of the curtain pulled into the middle, or with the curtain open completely. This is where you can truly perform. The shower is the make-or-break moment. You’re horned up from pumping iron, and he’s been killing himself on cardio. You’re both hot and sweaty and throbbing with testosterone.
An open curtain is a universally recognized signal that you’re interested, you’re inviting him to look, and you want to look at him. It’s essentially hanky code to say, “I’m cruising, I’m game.”
17. Don’t be nervous
He’s leaving the curtain open just for you. Look across at his sudsy shaft. Take a peek as he bends over to wash his feet. Make sure he knows you’re looking. And most importantly, look at his face. Look in his eyes. Hold the gaze for a second. And smile. It’s disarming and bold and lovely. This is the moment where you both know what’s happening.
18. Follow him out
If he’s looking at you and you’re looking at him, follow him out. Time your exit so that you leave around the time he does.
From there, my friend, you’re on your own. I send you out into the parking lot, into his car for a quick blowjob, to his apartment, or to that dark spot behind the building. I send you out into the world as a hunter. Get pumped.