In the gay community, there are a whole host of queens: Drag queens, drama queens, yas kweens and, of course — size queens. Size queens know exactly what they want, and it’s usually in the double digits. And who can blame them? Few things can satisfy that thirst than a foot-long.
Unfortunately, sizeable sausages are often attached to equally sizeable egos. Or emotional issues. Or daddy issues. You know — attached to a person. Yes, there’s definitely a time and a place for the real deal dong, but what if you just want to stuff your man-muff without all the baggage? Well, we have just the thing.
One of AdamMale’s best sellers, “this hefty, realistic dong is made of pure, super clean, and durable silicone to give you years of pleasure.” And at a full 10 inches long, it’s sure to fill that hole in your … well, it’s sure to fill your hole.
Here are 10 reasons we think you need a 10-incher:
1. You don’t need to ask for a dick pic
When you’re in the mood for some mattress mambo, you won’t have to guess at the goods. When chatting with guys on Grindr, you may not know what you’re getting until it’s too late, especially if you’re looking for something well above average. With this realistic toy, you know what you’re getting, every inch of the way.
2. It’s fun to use with friends.
Whether a boyfriend, a hook-up, a husband or a group of buddies, this turgid tool can spice up anyone’s sex life. Sure, it may seem intimidating, but when your partner sees you take this all the way to its silicone balls, they’ll be rock hard and ready in no time. It also is harness compatible, just in case you really wanted to mix things up.
3. It’s sure to hit that hard-to-reach P-spot.
Ah, the ever-illusive P-spot. While it’s certainly possible for a real-life ramrod to hit your prostate, it’s not always a guarantee. With this bad boy, you can pound the P until you’re gushing, every time.
4. You can stick it anywhere.
Well, yes, you can obviously stick it there. But we’re talking suction cup action. On the shower wall, on the floor, on the fridge — wherever you want to get down and dirty, this silicone sausage is there for you. Plus, that leaves your hands free to do other things, like tweaking nipples, massaging balls or stroking the ol’ sex stick.
5. It’s the perfect prank prop.
When it’s not deep inside you, this sex toy can definitely be used to play a prank or two. With its convincing beige color, bulging veins and “finely crafted mushroom head,” this dong is quite the beauty. Left around the house in strategic places and you’ll certainly surprise any unsuspected roommate, household pet or visiting parent.
6. It loves to get wet (while getting you wet).
Shower or bathtub sex can be super awkward with a partner (there never seems to be enough room). But if it’s just you and your trusty 10-incher, there’s plenty of space to play. It’s waterproof, silicone and phthalate-free design is ideal for water-based lubricants, too. And trust us, you’ll want to lube this sucker up before squatting on this shaft.
7. It’s cheaper than a first date .
Don’t want to shell out the cash for dinner, a movie and overpriced concessions? This is a one-time purchase with years and years of pleasure awaiting you. Can’t say that about too many guys, now can you?
8. Clean-up is a breeze.
Mild soap and water. Done. No man-juice-filled condoms, or awkward towel situations.
9. It won’t ask to spend the night and spoon.
Unless you like cuddling with your sex toys (and hey, we wouldn’t judge), you can be sure this monster man meat won’t make it awkward after the deed is done. Clean it up and back in the drawer it goes.
10. It’s time you upgraded.
Been riding that same 7 inch vibrator since college? Been complacent with the average D you’re able to scrounge up on Grindr? It’s time to treat yourself. After all, it’s always good to stretch yourself (and your hole) every now and then.
There you have it. What do you think? Time to add a few inches to your toy chest?