Opinion

If I Had a Big Dick, What Would I Be Like?

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The other day, I overheard a very handsome man say that his boyfriend dumped him because he was simply too small. When asked how big it is, he said it’s “average.” This got me thinking: Does size really matter that much to gay men? Apparently, it does.

But, if I had a bigger dick, would it change the way my exes feel about me? Would it change how I carry myself, or how others perceive me?  Would it affect me physically, spiritually and psychologically? I wonder ….

If I had a bid dick …

I wouldn’t feel the need to brag about it to anyone. I would take more pleasure in the anticipation leading up to the unbuttoning of my jeans, the pulling down of my undies and the joy of surprise on the man’s face as he sees it for the first time.

If I had a bid dick …

Boasting about my thing at parties, would be tasteless. Instead, I’d let my boyfriend do it for me. I would laugh if someone accused me of having a small unit, in fact, I’d probably egg it on even more. They would have no clue that what I had in my shorts was bigger than their arm — poor guys.

If I had a bid dick …

I would never depend on it for intense intimacy. A big schlong isn’t synonymous with being good in bed. In fact, most guys wouldn’t like taking my giant cocktapus (though there are plenty that do).

Related: 8 Naughty Pics from Broadway Bares

If I had a bid dick …

I would be sensitive to the fact that it might take a while before my boyfriend was comfortable riding it. I would have to be patient. Never would I force myself in assuming he’d like it. Never would I forget the importance of foreplay and lovemaking, relying only on ignorance that a big tool is all you need.

If I had a bid dick …

I would never limit myself to topping. If guys said, “You’re a bottom? That’s a waste of a good thing.” I’d tell them to walk on by because they’re a waste of a good breath.

Photo by Freddy Krave

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