How to Prevent Your Sweaty Balls From Stinking
We’re men, which means we’re prone to body odor. The sense of smell is one of our most intense senses because it sets the bar high regarding how we perceive each other. And summer is the time of year where it’s a nonstop smell-fest.
Some guys aren’t as lucky as others and are born with swamp crotch. But it’s more than genetics. Our scent has a lot to do with chemistry. For example, the way my body reacts to certain foods or products will be entirely different than yours. But what most of us fail to understand is that you can alter your body’s natural odors.
Related: The Ultimate Men’s Grooming Guide
I think it’s safe to say that crotches aren’t exactly the greatest smelling areas on our body (unless you’re into the stench, which if you are, good on you!). Some guys like it to smell musky while others would rather it smell like roses – it’s all preference.
But I think we all can agree there is a very visible line that no gay man should cross when it comes to crotch smell. Luckily, I’m here to stop this from happening. You want your crotch to smell great this summer? Take heed. Read and learn:
Wash Twice a Day
This goes without saying, but sadly countless of guys (mainly hippies) think everyone else enjoys the smell of their musky private parts. The truth is nobody wants to smell your unwashed man bouquet because trust me, it does not smell like roses if it hasn’t seen soap in days. Start by making hygiene, that which I mean water + soap, a priority.
Use a gentle, unscented soap. If you can find an intimate wash with neutral PH value (5.5), it can be better. Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty and scrub, scrub, scrub. Do you remember the last time you washed the top half of your legs in the shower? Guess what, scents living in proximity to your crotch will confuse people into thinking it’s coming from the crotch area. It’s always a better option to leave no space unscrubbed.
By manscaping, I’m referring to shaving your balls. Yes, this is a requirement of gay law and can be punishable by weeks or months of no sex (unless your man likes it better).
If you enjoy having a lot of hair down there, more power to you, but you have to be able to invest a few more minutes in the bathroom, or with a product, to level out the odor. It’s a well-known fact that more hair welcomes more odor—good and bad—because sweat sticks to hair, and hair holds your body’s natural smell inside the follicles.
A little hair might be a good thing since it increases the chance of sexy pheromones, but the longer your hair is the more likely it is that this heaven-smelling chemical will be lost inside the hair’s oils — layered beneath sweat and product. Think of your hair as a plant: they’re nourished by what you eat, drink, and treat it with. The longer they are, the more likely I can smell your dirty diet secrets no matter how much product you put on.
You might think when you get out of the shower you’re ready to go. This is true if you’re planning on having sex immediately afterward, but most of us either get dressed for work where we’ll be sitting at a desk all day or end up doing some form of activity for a few hours (which creates foul sweat caused by friction).
The point is to sweat as little as possible (this is what causes body odor for most of us to begin with). Don’t be afraid of a little powdering if you’re a 9 to 5 kind of guy – yes, I’m referring to baby powder.
Balla for Men is a product that works well for me. Go into any sex shop and they will sell similar products you can rub on your junk to make it sweat less throughout the day. These are a sound investment.
TIP: Never spray or rub alcohol-infused products on the crotch area. The alcohol will leave you tasting like chemicals. It might mask the smell temporarily, but what’s the point if you’re going to end up tasting like hairspray?
Use baby wipes
For the man on the go, baby wipes are a must have accessory to keep in your glove compartment, desk drawer, man bag, or gym locker. Make sure you give the wipes a sniff test before you purchase because the last thing you want is to leave your crotch smelling like a dentist office. Less alcohol, the better. The more skin friendly, the better it will feel.
Note to self: If there’s a picture of a baby on it, it’s probably your best bet since legit baby wipes are super soft and never leave your skin dry.
Wear breathable clothing
If you’re wearing layers upon layers of underwear: man Spanx, jeans, thermals, and all the like, you’re not giving your crotch a prayer in the world to stay fresh. You’re suffocating it; therefore, it’s going to sweat and end up smelling foul before you know it. Keep the area dry and stick to cotton-made undies. Air it out!
It also might be a good idea to wash your laundry with detergents that don’t have dyes or fragrances that clash with your body’s natural scent. Sometimes we like to overspray our cologne, but if it counteracts with our body’s scent along with the smell of our laundry detergent, we’re going to confuse the senses.
As long as you buy laundry detergent that kills bacteria, you’re good. You don’t want to smell like a launderette, and you don’t want your clothes to smell of fabric softner. Never mask your body’s scent with Tide.
Change your diet
A fruit a day will drive the smell away. Stock up on oranges, grapefruits, plums, pineapples, limes, mangos, etc. The foods that give you smelly farts, bad breath or gross smelling urine will also make your semen, sweat, and crotch smell and taste foul – duh!
Drink tons of water and rid yourself of spicy foods. Increase your Zinc intake, which can be found in oysters, breakfast cereals, and nuts. Magnesium has also been known to stop odor where you sweat. Start drinking more teas as well, such as chamomile. Fiber can increase your metabolism and drive away food from the body much faster so you can not only feel skinnier but smell cleaner.
Try body butter
Body butter is always nice because most of them don’t contain alcohol and are usually made of natural ingredients, which means they’re edible.
You don’t want to rub this on first thing in the morning necessarily if you’re going to work all day. But body butter is a very good idea after the gym or before you go out to the club to give it the right amount of time to settle in. Strawberry or raspberry flavors are available everywhere. I suggest rubbing it on the shaft of your penis, and the section between the balls and butt, and even on your (newly shaved) balls.
Use pheromone oils
This is one of the greatest secrets known to humanity. Pheromone oils are found in all sex shops and are best served in oils rather than colognes. The reason for this it is because with oils you can rub a little at a time and get the most potent version.
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My favorite smell comes in Berry form because it seems to suit all kinds of body types and scents – hairy, smooth, whatever. Rub a little on the V-lines on either side of your crotch as well as on your balls and between your thighs. As you continue your daily routine, it will soak into the skin and become a part of your scent, driving everyone wild.