‘Straight’ Men Share Stories About Secret Same-Sex Sex

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In a recent survey, the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) reported that an unprecedented number of Americans identify as bisexual. The CDC study also found that more men who identify as straight admit to having same-sex sex. Sometimes, attraction to same-sex love affairs becomes a routine part of their lives.

After interviewing more than 9,000 people age 18 to 44, the CDC discovered 6.2 percent of the male participants admitted that they had same-sex sex at least once in their lives, and 2.3 percent of those men identified as straight.

In a nutshell, more straight men are having sex with men, and many of them continue to engage in same-sex activities throughout their lives.

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LGBTQ Nation reached out to some of the participants for their side of the story. The first man mentioned in the LGBTQ Nation report used the alias Rob for the interview.

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Rob is a 46-year-old man living in San Jose, CA. He’s been married to his wife for 12 years, and secretly having sex with men for 27 years. He uses Craigslist and dating sites like to meet guys and prefers to hook up with other married men. Currently, Rob sees two other guys on a regular basis.

“Hooking up with other men, to me, is a non-complicated way of releasing sexual steam. It’s simply a physical release with no pressure,” he said.

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“I seek out other married men for the simple fact that they are in the same boat as me, and hopefully can relate to what I am looking for,” he says. “I do not want to jeopardize my marriage. Another married man can understand that. Other married men are not willing to take as many risks.”

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Rob told LGBTQ Nation, he’s afraid of “getting strong emotions or falling in love.” He added, “I wouldn’t want to become the object of another man’s desire. I do find some men attractive, but for me, it’s just sexual. I don’t feel attracted to men in a loving way at all.”

“One is divorced, the other is a widower and semi-retired,” he explains. “They both live alone and are therefore able to host our get-togethers. There is no love involved.”

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Queerty also spoke with Jane Ward, an Associate Professor and Vice Chair of the Department of Gender and Sexuality Studies at the University of California, Riverside. Ward also wrote the book Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men, which you can purchase on Amazon.

Ward told Queerty, “We can learn a lot about sexual fluidity and diversity from men on the down low. Some men on the DL identify as bisexual but are not public about their sex with men. Others are completely straight-identified and view their sex with men as an erotic hobby, so to speak. For them, it’s an occasional means of getting off, but it’s not something that feels significant enough to influence how they understand their sexual orientation.”

If you’d like to read more real-life stories of straight men on the down low, head over to LGBTQ Nation.


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