How to Be a Better Bottom In 2016

This is a portrait of a young man by photographer Freddy Krave.
Freddy Krave

Bottoming is a skill. An art form. A craft. And, being good takes practice and preparation, but all men who love men can be expert bottoms. Before you begin your quest to becoming a better bottom, think about how important you and your sexual role are to a successful man-on-man relationship.

Bottoms are the foundation of a healthy an fulfilling love life. Some gay and bisexual men think of bottoms as the “bitch” in a relationship, and they couldn’t be more wrong. Just like tops, bottoms use their bodies as a tool for same love. Bottoms and tops are equally important players in the same game — they’re just playing different positions.

Here are five steps to becoming a better bottom in 2016.

Step 1: Keep It Clean 

Having a clean workspace is important for most activities (unless you like it dirty) including those done between the sheets. Maintaining your bottom doesn’t necessarily require cleaning out, but if you’d like to take that step, by all means, do what makes you comfortable. Everyone has a preference; some men like to keep their nether regions trimmed, while others prefer to be smooth. Regardless, make sure that your hole is flake free and manicured to your and/or your partners liking.

Step 2: Loosen Up

Obviously, some of your body parts are better tight, but as a bottom, you’ll enjoy play time more if you’re limber and flexible. So, in the off season (aka when you’re not getting ready to sit on it), exercise regularly and stretch everyday. If you’re limber, intimacy can be more enjoyable and exciting.

Step 3: Lube Your Tube

When giving or receiving, some guys like to “raw dog” it, but you need to be careful and protect your body and the delicate lining of your purple starfish. Consider testing sample of many different types of lubricants until you find what that feels right. Protect your o-ring; lube your tube.

Step 4: Be PrEPared

According to the CDC, men who sleep with men “are the population most severely affected by HIV,” but you can have an active and healthy love life without putting yourself at risk. If you like it raw, that’s ok. You can protect yourself in other ways, including PrEP.

Step 5: Practice Proudly

They say practice makes perfect. Fortunately, you can practice all by yourself. Get yourself a high-quality toy and explore your bottom. Find out what positions feel the best, and test your limits. Don’t be afraid to test varying sizes and lengths in different positions.

Photo by Freddy Krave.

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