Health

Everything You Want to Know About Fisting

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You’ve heard the things they say about guys into fisting. On Scruff yesterday, a gentleman told me that I’m going to wreck that pretty pink hole of mine. “No sir,” I wrote back, “but I’m looking for someone who will.”

This language — “wrecked” holes, ruined asses, incontinence — spread the misconception that fisting equals permanent injury. Here’s the truth. Fisting (or “handballing” as they say across the pond) is an extreme sex act that isn’t without risks, but the risks are smaller than you think.

Men and women all over the world have been fisting for a long time. We are not incontinent or have permanently ruined bodies; although some folks do take fisting to extreme levels at which their bodily functions change. But for casual fisting bottoms like me, our asses tighten back up and function like all other asses. But then they open again — and that’s the fun part.

Allow me to extend a hand (forgive me) and welcome you to the fisting FFamily. Speaking as a bottom, who was terrified in the beginning, here are some key things you need to know.

1. Fisting brings the most intense orgasms of your life.

We can’t explain why, but fisting feels fucking fantastic — when you get good at it. Somewhere between that surprisingly intimate connection you have with someone, the vulnerability of having their hand inside you, and the physical sensation of having your hole opened, something awesome happens. You cum hard.

“Cumming” barely sums it up. The slow, pre-release build-up sweeps over you, your head drops back, and you yell that deep, guttural moan that fisters everywhere recognize as pure, mind-blowing bliss. I have cum hands-free and soft without ever touching my dick during my best fist sessions.

Cristiano Ronaldo

2. Fisting is dangerous.

So is extreme breath play, choking, heavy S&M, rope or suspension bondage, hard fucking, anonymous gangbangs, and solo play with toys you don’t know how to use, or that you try to use past your skill level.

All sex has risks, and kinky sex has higher risks than vanilla sex. The reckless and unwise among us have made mistakes, and some of those mistakes have meant injury (although I must stress that this is less common than you might think).

Related: Why Is The Penis Shaped Like That?

But collectively, through trial and error, we’ve learned what to do to make fisting safer and more awesome for everyone involved. Keep reading.

Muscled Guy laying on Sofa

3. Go slow.

I wonder how long I’m going to tell people I’m not a pro-fisting bottom before I admit that I might actually be good at this. But I still go slow — because you have to.

It doesn’t matter if it’s your first time taking a miniature butt plug or your fiftieth time getting fisted to the elbow. Start slow. “Check in” with your body. Explore your breathing.

This is especially true if you’re new. Going slow helps you read your body, your pain levels, and keeps you from getting hurt.

4. Butt plugs are the best toy in your arsenal.

Your anal sphincter — more commonly referred to as your “hole” — is one of the strongest muscles in the human body. It naturally stays very tight and clenched for most of your life. Training it to open takes practice. Like any muscle, when you frequently work it out, you make it stronger and better able to move. Butt plugs help you do this.

Related: Why I Jerk Off At the Gym

Before most fisting sessions, I start with plugs — because they feel good. I love the sensation of getting my hole stretched around something smooth and round. You’ll learn to love this feeling, and enjoying this feeling is the first, most vital step to getting fisted.

Young man with muscular body on bed looking away.

5. Wear gloves.

Wearing gloves is the most important safety rule. Gloves prevent the spread of Hep C, bacteria, infections, and other nasties you can get (easily) from playing in the ass gloveless. You can buy boxes of nitrile or latex gloves at kink and fetish suppliers across the country or online.

6. When it comes to cleaning your ass, nothing beats a good diet.

Most medical experts agree that douching isn’t safe. You need certain mucous and natural chemicals in your rectum and colon to process waste and keep everything running smoothly, and frequent flushes can interrupt that process.

But I still douche — most guys do. But I do everything I can to make my douching process as quick and minimal as possible, and that means consuming a diet high in fiber and taking fiber supplements so that most of the cleaning process is done for me — naturally, by my body.

If you take a long time douching without getting clean or have to douche multiple times, the problem isn’t with your cleaning regimen — it’s your diet. Take fiber supplements, like daily Metamucil, and eat healthier foods such as  vegetables, lean meats, and rice.

7. Play sober — at least in the beginning.

As a recovering addict, here’s something few people want to admit: Tina (crystal meth) and fisting go hand in hand. I know a disproportionate number of men into fisting who first explored assplay while getting high. The result? They associate awesome fisting orgasms with drugs and can’t enjoy fisting sober.

But there’s hope.I’ve had mind-blowing fisting sessions completely drug-free. It’s a different sensation — a better one.

Related: How to Have More Wet Dreams

For beginners: If you first explore fisting on drugs, you may not be able to read your limits or detect pain when you’re high. This means you can hurt yourself — badly. Permanent injuries from fisting happen when we go too fast, don’t respect our body’s limits, or recklessly push past them. You want to be able to read your body and detect pain with a clear head.

Shirtless man laying on floor

8. One finger hurts.

It feels like a pencil in your butt. If you’re especially tight, one finger may be all you can handle, and you’re a long way off from being fisted. But generally speaking, one finger is less comfortable than two or even three.

9. There are different kinds of fisting. You don’t have to like (or do) them all.

In fact, most guys don’t.

I don’t like depth, and I’m not turned on by depth training or depth play. The sensation of being stretched open, even just up to the knuckle, is hotter to me than taking a hand past the wrist. The wrist is my general stopping point; although, I can go midway up the forearm pretty easily. I prefer staying around the wrist because it feels better for me.

Related: How to Increase the Volume of Your Loads

You will learn what you like. If the image of a forearm (and more) disappearing inside a guy’s hole is super hot to you, you may be into depth. The risks change depending on what kind of fisting you like, and depth play has different risks associated with it, but it’s all risky, so do what you like and take every step necessary to make your play safe.

10. When you’re a beginner, play with a pro — no exceptions.

You only learn how to fist from sticking your hand in the holes of professional fisting bottoms — guys with years of experience who can guide you through the process. You only learn how to take a fist from professional fisting tops, men who know how the body works and have fisted many holes before.

An amateur in your butt can severely — albeit unintentionally — injure you pretty badly. Even if you have to travel a distance or wait until the next time you’re in a bigger city where there are more fisting tops, it’s a good idea to do so.

Guy ready for a fisting session

11. Don’t compare your experience to other’s’.

This was told to me by an FFriend and mentor — a versatile fisting guy I admire.

Fisters often make fisting look like a competition. It’s not. You don’t have to be a pro. You don’t have to be that good at it to say you like it.

Related: How Running Affects Your Package

There are fisting guys on Twitter who take massive things in their butts. I admire them, but the minute I start to compare my experiences to theirs, I will feel defeated, overwhelmed, and a little scared. It helps me to take a step back, look at my body, and decide for myself what I want to do with it. I need to remember my awesome experiences and know that with time and practice, more will come. I don’t have to push myself any further or be “better” if I don’t want to. No one is tapping their foot waiting for you to perform like a champ — if they are, don’t play with them.

12. Chemistry is everything.

Simply put: If I don’t like you, I’m not taking your hand.

For me, this makes fisting different from other kinds of sex. I can get bred by rough, verbal, anonymous tops all day/night long. I don’t have to like you — I just want your load.

Fisting is different. There has to be some connection because fisting requires a lot of trust and surrender. I don’t know if every fister feels this way, but all the ones I know seem to agree. Fisting depends on chemistry, connection, and communication — play with someone you like.

These tips are not exhaustive. If you’re serious about playing the butt, the excellent book Fist Me! The Complete Guide to Fisting by pro-fisting top Stephan Niederwieser is a must-read for all beginners.

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