Cathal McCarron Talks Gay-For-Pay Past in New Memoir
In 2014, 28-year-old Gaelic football star Cathal McCarron, who plays for Tyrone, performed in several gay-for-pay videos. Inevitably, they went viral and many people bombarded him with hate mail and verbal abuse. Fortunately, the LGBT community, particularly men who like men, stayed by his side.
According to his new tell-all memoir Out of Control: How My Addiction Almost Killed Me, he found support in the comments of his fans (often on NSFW sites) as well as countless men who wanted to have sex with him.
Although many enjoyed watching his videos, McCarron, who identifies as straight, was overwhelmed by the experience. He told The Irish News, “As we had sexual intercourse, I did everything to suppress my real emotions, to dislocate myself from the moment. All I was thinking about was the money I was going to receive afterward.”
“Every day, I still get online approaches, or some form of social media connectivity, from the gay community. It’s embarrassing when some man asks to meet you, but I don’t look on that as a negative.”
He continued, “Some gay men seem to look upon me as a kind of gay icon. That’s how I was tagged on some LGBT [lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender] community websites and discussion boards.”
“When the video went viral, some of those forums were laced with comments from gay men about how much they wanted to have sex with me. The last thing I am is gay, but I’ll take those comments above vile, vitriolic, homophobic and personal abuse any day of the week.”
McCarron said the producers told him the video would only be available on a pay-per-view deals like those found in hotels. “Anyone in their right mind knows that uploaded material can appear anywhere, but I wasn’t in my right mind,” he admits. “I accepted the offer of some work.”
According to his memoir, he agreed to top, bottom and swallow for approximately $3,300. McCarron says he intended to use the profits from his performances in a same-sex adult videos to help pay for his gambling addiction, but according to his book, he blew through the cash in only two days.
When the 19-minute film came out, McCarron found himself in a deep depression and eventually checked into a rehab facility. McCarron said, “When the filming was over I felt physically sick, disgusted that I had allowed myself to sink into such an abyss of degradation and humiliation.”
Shortly after returning to soccer, he was nominated for an All-Star last year, which clearly increased the probability of prolonged publicity around his gay-for-pay performances.
He concluded, “I completely respect the lesbian and gay community, because I really appreciated their messages of support when so many others wanted to bury me.” Currently, he’s playing football and studying to become a therapist so that he can help other people.
McCarron released his memoir today (October 20), and you can order a copy on Amazon.